Evolution

There are loads of people in the world who don’t believe in evolution. To some degree that’s OK, because it doesn’t matter if you believe in evolution, because it’s a scientific theory, and your believing in it makes absolutely no difference. Those who don’t believe, might tell you that there’s no proof. I disagree. There’s proof in the news right now.

Before I begin, I’ll explain evolution very simply. Imagine you got a group of people. Some of the men are big and strong, some are small and weak. The women of the group are programmed to like men who are big and strong. So they find these men and have children with them. Those babies turn out to be big and strong. The men who are small and weak have trouble finding women to have babies with, and so in the next generation of people, there are more big and strong people, and fewer small and weak people. Over time, other things become a factor, such as women preferring men who are clever, rather than big. This leads to people generally getting cleverer. Genetic abnormalities are weeded out, because if you’ve got three eyes, it’s very hard to get somebody to shag you.

So here’s the proof. Have you heard of Neknominate? It’s where you drink a load of something that nearly kills you, video it, and challenge other people to drink something that gets you even closer to death. Simple. In the UK somebody died because they necked a pint of vodka. Most of us are clever enough to know that downing a pint of vodka will kill you. Most of us get to go on and have babies that we will tell not to drink a pint of vodka. Whereas those of us who think it’s funny to do that, are dead, and have no babies. That’s evolution.

You want further proof? After vodka boy dies, his mum goes on the news and tells us what a bright boy he was and that the Neknominate game has to stop. Err, no. He wasn’t bright, he downed a pint of vodka. And it wasn’t the game that made him do it, he made himself do it. So mum is a bit thick too. Evolution.

If you feel compelled to play Neknominate, please feel free to do so. The UK gene pool could do with a little bit of crud skimming off the top.