December 10th 2013
December 9th 2013
It’s at the end of the year that I become quite reflective, I suppose it happens to a lot of us. Anyway, besides making up my best gadgets of 2013 list, I thought I’d have a go at some other things too. Perhaps stuff that’s more important in the grand scheme of things. So with that in mind, I present to you the worst of humanity 2013. These are issues that face the human race, which I believe represent the absolute worst of human nature. I haven’t ranked them, and they’re in no particular order.
1. Homophobia / Racism
2013 was the year I started co-presenting Do Ask Do Tell, a podcast which covers news relevant to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered community. As a straight, white guy, these are issues that I don’t personally run into on a day to day basis, but they do greatly affect friends of mine. It’s safe to say that while I wasn’t exactly the most homophobic man in the world, I was missing a lot of information about key issues. I feel that I’ve learned a lot, and hope to continue learning in the years to come.
Simply Syndicated doesn’t yet produce a show about issues facing pretty much every none-white community. To be fair, I’m really not the guy to be putting that sort of thing together, but I’ve grouped racism with homophobia for a reason. These two issues have something very important in common, they require absolutely no financial or technological solution. It would cost absolutely nothing for us to solve these problems. In fact, they are both really simple to solve. Ready? Stop being racist and homophobic. That’s it. That’s the solution. If we all did that right now, the world would be a billion times nicer to live in. Imagine that! People just treating each other with care and respect.
What if everybody just made peace with the idea that things people do that don’t effect other people, is nobody’s business. The fact that there are gay people, or people of races other than mine, have absolutely no effect on my life at all. Why should I go out of my way to even have a thought about them, let alone decide that I hate them and then take to the streets to do something about it. Being bothered by gay people, is the same as getting upset about the person in front of me at McDonalds not ordering the same meal as me. It doesn’t matter what other people order, I can still have what I want. Why would I wish to stop other people having what they want?
Sadly we do still have to share a planet with humans that have so little going on in their lives that they actually have the time to go out an attack a person they think is gay. These people have nothing important to care about, so they go on EDL marches. If anything, it’s a really sad indication that a lot of people just live really shit lives and feel the need to enforce that on others.
How about everybody just stops trying to make other people feel as bad about their lives as they do, and spend that energy on improving themselves. That way, perhaps they’ll be too busy to go on marches. This, in my opinion, is one of the worst aspects of the human race. It would cost us nothing to stop this problem immediately, so what’s stopping us?
2. Child / Animal Abuse.
These problems come with a similar solution to homophobia and racism. There’s no excuse for it, there’s no need for it, and it’s one of the worst aspects of humans. For some reason, some people live lives that are just so horrible, that they feel the need to hurt children or animals. Both are lifeforms that have no line of defence against us. If I want to go out and have a fight, there’s a good chance I’ll be able to find somebody who is very capable of causing me a lot of damage. An adult can defend his or herself. A child cannot. A small dog or cat, cannot defend itself against me.
We have a responsibility to treat these creatures with the most love and respect that we possibly can, and doing that costs us literally nothing. There’s nobody out there saying “I’d like to stop abusing children, but I just can’t afford it right now”. All we have to do is stop doing it. Now. Is your baby crying to the point where you feel like throwing it against a wall? Try not doing that. See how it works out. After all, millions and millions of parents have managed to usher their offspring into adulthood without a single incident of physical abuse. My parents managed it, and I’m willing to be that most of you come from a similar family setting.
Of course, I do have a little sympathy for the humans who carry out these horrible actions. Not that I’m saying they shouldn’t be punished as much as the law allows, it’s just that I have to wonder how shit you and your life has to be to make you want to assert physical dominance over a small dog or toddler. As the Klingons would tell you, there is no honour in victory over an opponent that cannot fight back. Even the Predator knew that.
Apparently some homeless people want to be homeless. That might be true, but I’m guessing that most homeless people don’t want to be homeless. There’s simply no excuse for these people not to be given homes. I’m talking mainly about the UK here because it’s what I know, but we’ve got enough money to blow on high speed rail links. We’ve got plenty of cash to spend on advertising campaigns telling foreign people to go home, and we can let massive corporations off billions of pounds in tax, but we can’t get a few houses together?
According to government figures, about 2309 people were sleeping rough on the streets of the UK on any given night. That doesn’t meant that there are 2309 people without a home, but it’s as good a place as any to start. Let’s assume the government could put together something resembling a house consisting of two bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, living/dining room for around £80,000 each. I actually think that’s a really generous amount of money for that sort of thing, especially when you’re the government, and you’re building over 2000 of the things in one go. With those figures we could build a house for all the people sleeping rough for around £184,720,000. Which sounds like a lot. 184 million pounds. I don’t know about you, but I can’t put my hands on that sort of money. However, a year or two ago, the UK government let Vodafone off a tax bill of seven billion pounds. So lets round up the housing bill to £250 million for the sake of my maths. That means the tax bill from Vodafone alone, could have built 28 houses for each person sleeping rough in the UK. Again, I’m guessing, but I think that would go a long way to ensuing that everybody who wants a home, could have one.
And it gets worse! Because we’re talking about 64,652 houses. Can you imagine the person power that takes? Think of all the builders, architects, labourers, truck drivers and so on. That feels like it might also solve some employment problems too. Imagine the army of people we could put to work if we built 64,652 houses. Then those people who built those houses would have money that they earned, and a place to live. They could then spend that money in their local economy. They would also stop being a financial burden on that same economy, which is currently providing hostels and other support. Would that help to solve the recession problem we’ve got going on?
So with that in mind, why are we not doing this? On paper, it looks like one of the best things the government could do for this country is to instantly solve the homeless problem. It would go beyond helping people get in to houses, it would put them in work, contribute to the rubbish economy, and reduce pressure on underfunded public services. I would personally give this as a reason as to why our government is not even remotely interested in actually making our country a better place to live. If it was, it would have done this.
So OK, this is the first of my issues that would actually cost real money to fix. But I think you have to agree, that it would be worth it.
4. Care for the Elderly
If you’re really really lucky, you’ll be old one day. Why aren’t old people given everything they want? Why aren’t they allowed to live the most fantastic existence that society can provide? You’ll probably be old one day. It’s a bit of a no brainer isn’t it?
So there you have it. These are what I think are the worst problems we have as a society today. I know it’s not everything, and you might feel other things are more important. There isn’t a single perfect nation on Earth, so we’ve all got some work to do.
December 3rd 2013
November 4th 2013
When you’re a top technology journalist like me, you have loads of contacts at various tech companies around the world. My man in Korea, has managed to get hold of some of the features of the upcoming Samsung Galaxy S 5.
Many Bothans died to bring us this information.
Features of the Galaxy S5
Android 4.2.2 (updated after release)
7.8” 4K Display
Facepalm to Unlock
Music pauses when somebody speaks to you
Eye tracking touch free interface
IMAX video recording
64 bit processor
S Touch ID
Available in S Gold
October 25th 2013
Based entirely on my own personal use cases. Your milage may vary.
New iMovie > Old iMovie
New Pages = Old Pages
Mavericks Multiple Display Support > Mountain Lion Multiple Display Support
Mavericks Calendar > Mountain Lion Calendar
New Garageband > Old Garageband
New iOS iWork and iLife Apps > Old iOS iWork and iLife Apps
That’s all I’ve used so far, but I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that I’ll probably like the rest of their new stuff more than the old stuff. I should put this kind of crap on Facebook really.
October 12th 2013
I sometimes get asked what me real job is. This is my real job. I used to say that I run a podcast network, but that’s not really true any more. Now I sound really pretentious and say that I run a 21st century media network. It has a two fold effect of answering a person’s question, and making them not want to talk to me any further.
In reality, it means that I make whatever living it is that I make, by creating media, putting it on the internet, and selling it to people who want to consume it. One of the new things I’ve started doing that with is called Shaken Not Stirred. It’s an audio show that I’ve wanted to make for a very long time. It’s just me and Nick from Tech It Or Leave It, and we talk about the James Bond films. Each episode covers one movie. There will probably only be as many episodes as there are Bond films.
Rather than Shaken Not Stirred being a podcast, it’s only available either on Simply Everything, our subscription service, or as a download for 99p. It helps us keep Simply Syndicated going, without having to cover it with ads, and it keeps our shows completely free from advertising too. So why not give our new show a listen, if you’ve got Simply Everything then it’s just part of your subscription, and if not, don’t tell me you’ve never risked 99p on a smartphone app that you ended up never using. I promise that our show is actually good and worth your pound.
October 1st 2013
I’m starting to write this review on Saturday night. I’ve had iOS 7 on my iPhone 5 and iPad 4 as long as any normal human could have, which is since around half past six on Wednesday evening. In those few short days, I have only been without an iOS device in my hand while sleeping. These are my words.
Full disclosure, my words, were delayed until Monday night. How does one review something like iOS 7? It’s like reviewing the Mona Lisa or the Giza Pyramids. We’re talking about something that is just so good, that all I can do is tell you about good things. Of course not everyone will agree with me, but iOS 7 is just so awesome, that to say otherwise, makes you the guy looking at the Sistine Chapel and saying that it’s OK. We of Tech It Or Leave It are frequently asked to stop covering Apple stuff so much, and talk more about Android for example. In reply to that, I’ve always said that Apple products are so far above what everybody else is doing, that to not hold them in such high regard, would actually damage our credibility. You’re always entitled to your opinion, but there are some opinions that just make you look like a twat when you share them.
Thats where we are with iOS. I know that you can shout about how it isn’t as open as Android, and maybe you prefer the look of Windows Phone. You might even be geeky enough to know that the multitasking screen is basically lifted right out of WebOS. But I just don’t think there’s any getting past the fact that iOS 7 is by far the best mobile operating system available on any phone.
Let’s start with how it looks. It’s quite simply a beautiful work of art, jam packed full of all the little touches that feel like hardly anything on their own, but together, make an Apple product what it is. I’m not just talking about choice of fonts or colour palates, I’m talking about how when you touch a number key to dial, it instantly fills with colour, but takes a second to fade away when you lift your finger. Another example, is how the screen dims and brightens when locking and unlocking. It doesn’t turn off and back on again. It phases from the on state, to the off state. It’s such a statement of intent and thought. You can see the act of locking your phone as simply that, locking your phone. Or you can see it as putting the phone to sleep, not turning it off, and how that process should be something that happens calmly. Not slowly, so that we often think we’ve mis-pressed the lock button, but calmly. Even the transition from the first lock screen, to the screen to input your unlock code, happens with grace. The 1:1 movement ratio that continues to elude Android users, makes the act of swiping between screens feel like you’ve just moved an actual physical object. iOS feels like you’re effecting a real world thing, whereas Android always felt to me like I was performing a gesture, and then Android was carrying out the command connected with that gesture. iOS 7 continues the trend of calm, fluid, movement.
Even on the lock screen, you start to see some of the key elements that make the look of iOS 7. There’s the parallax effect, which gives the illusion of depth. As you tilt the device, you can see how the time and date live on a level that’s closer to you than the photo you’ve got set as your wallpaper. If you swipe to the left, you get the unlock code input screen, with all the buttons that have taken on the colour of your wallpaper. It looks like you’ve pulled a piece of frosted glass across the screen. As do the new control centre, and newly designed notifications screen. This seems like a good opportunity to move away from the general look of the OS, and onto some new features.
Control centre is one of the new features that has Android fans up in arms. I know there is something similar in the later versions of Android. But here’s the problem. It’s in version 4.2 and later. Allison has a 14 month old Android phone, that will never have the toggle switches on the notification screen. Most Android phones will never have those toggles. Within 24 hours of availability, iOS 7 was the most widely used version of iOS. Nobody had to wait for a new phone to come out, and everybody who bought the last three versions of the iPhone, got the update at the same time as everybody else. When there’s a new version of Android, first Google release it to manufacturers, then you wait to see if the people who made your phone have decided if it’s even worth updating your phone. Then, maybe, months later, you get your handset maker’s take on Android. So yes, I’ll accept that some later versions of Android have toggle switches available on the notification screen. But in return, you have to accept that the control centre on iOS is far far more than a set of toggle switches. It’s better than the Android offering because it’s available anywhere at any time. No need to unlock your phone to turn the flashlight on. Then of course you’ve got the obligatory toggle switches for plane mode, wi-fi, bluetooth, silent mode, and orientation lock. But then you’ve got a slider for screen brightness. That’s followed by persistent audio controls. I’ve seen music player controls in the notification screen for Android, but they are then when the app is running. iOS audio controls are always there, and always ready to take you back to the last thing you were listening to, regardless of which app you were using to do that. Then you get controls for AirDrop and AirPlay, that button which makes my phone appear on the TV. Control centre is finished off with flash light, timer, calculator and camera buttons. That’s at least three icons and an app that you no longer need on your phone. Say goodbye to that shitty flashlight app that you’ve got. You can even make space on your dock because you don’t need your camera app to hand anymore. The same goes for your calculator. I was able to give more space to real apps on my first home screen, because I didn’t need the basic utilities to have their own icon.
The new notifications screen is also beautiful, especially when it picks up all the colour from your home screen icons. Instead of just being a notification screen, this section of the phone has been broken down into three further sections. There’s the Today view that shows you the date, current weather, upcoming appointments, reminders, and tomorrow’s appointments. It seems simple and basic, but it’s one of the most useful new features. I expect it to be something that offers more, but for now, it’s perfectly serviceable. After the Today tab, there’s the All tab, which shows you all of your notifications. iOS 7 does feature an API for dismissing notifications on many devices, when they are dismissed on one. Clearly, this is something that developers need to implement. I’m looking at you Facebook. I hate having an IM conversation using my phone or iPad, only to be greeted by a notification for every sentence of that conversation on my other device. Apple have given people the tools, now they need to use them. Finally, you’ve got the Missed tab. That’s where you’ll find missed calls and such. You still can’t dismiss alerts individually, but that’s forgivable when you experience what Apple have done to improve the notifications screen.
1300 words in, and we’ve made it to the home screen. There are still icons, and there is still a dock for four of them. The icons are slightly more rounded on the corners, the font is now lighter but clearer. When you first unlock the device, the icons fly on to the screen from behind you. It’s a nice little animation, as is the way you zoom into the icon when launching the app. Folders are even nicer. You zoom in and fly around the OS. It’s truly immersive, and you never have doubt as to where you are, or how you got there. You can now put as many apps in folders as you like. I can see how that’s a good thing, but I’d advise against putting too much stuff in one folder. You could, in theory, just put all your apps in one folder on one home screen, then use spotlight to search for whatever it is you’re looking for.
Of course, Apple have updated (most of) their own apps too. The two most obvious ones are the Photos app, and Calendar. As I’m sure you’ve seen, the photos app now offers different levels of looking at your photos. You can see them all, sorted by year, or you can go in closer to photos taken at similar times or in the same places. So with absolutely no work from me, my pictures of my weekend in Scarborough are now neatly grouped together. There’s a nice range of basic photo editing tools to help you with cropping, red-eye and the ever magical “enhance”. There’s also a selection of Instagram style filters that you can apply to a picture. The filters are actually usable, because they don’t get applied to your original picture. They get added afterwards, so you never ruin anything.
Calendar has had all leather removed from it, and is much better for it. Apple have approached the problem of displaying a calendar in the right way. It’s going to live on a live updating display without a scrap of paper in sight. So there’s no need for pages that have to be turned. No flipping back and forth from month to month. Just a continuous scrolling calendar. It’s clear, clean, and bright. Finding your appointments is easier than ever before.
Other apps like Reminders, Notes, Calculator, and others, do get a cosmetic makeover, but don’t really gain anything in terms of new functionality.
To make sure that there’s nothing I’ve missed, I’m just looking over Apple’s list of new iOS 7 features. I see that I have neglected to mention the camera and AirDrop. The new camera app is great, but how great depends on how you use it. For example, there’s the “hold your finger on the shutter to continuously take pictures” function. That, I’m using a lot. It’s especially good at taking photos that Google+ Photos can make into an animated GIF. If I figure out how to get those off Google+ I’ll show you what it looks like. There’s the Instagram square shape picture function, which I still can’t explain. I take square photos for Instagram because Instagram takes square photos. What I really want is for Instagram to use proper sized photos, not Apple make it possible for me to take square pictures. But if you really want to go the Instagram route, you can see how things will turn out with live filters.
AirDrop is the new system for sharing files between iOS devices, and it’s really handy. It solves a very common problem just by showing you all the people you can share with who are near by, and letting you share with them at the touch of a button. There’s not much more to say about it, other than to point out that you can switch it to only share with known contacts, so you don’t need to worry about showing up on a strangers phone.
If I’m honest, there are a few things that I’ve missed out because they haven’t effected me yet. Safari now lets you have more than eight open tabs. I didn’t know that there was a limit of eight before, so this is clearly for people who do more browsing than I do. That makes me think, as a quick aside from this review, are we less dependent on web browsers on mobile devices because most of the services we would use a browser for on a big computer, are handled by apps on mobiles and tablets? It’s not like I need an open tab for Facebook, Twitter, Email, and other things too, because I have an app for those. Anyway…
I’m of the opinion that nothing else comes close to iOS 7. We can argue over individual features all day, but when it comes to the overall experience, and joy that you get from using your mobile device, then Apple are still the team to beat.
September 30th 2013
I know you noticed, but it’s worth mentioning that I host a show called Do Ask Do Tell. It’s dedicated to dealing with news related to the LGBTQ community. Sadly, most of the news stories we cover, involve some sort of prejudice towards that community. It’s one of the worst aspects of current human culture, but it has always been there, just not necesserily directed at the LGBTQ community. We have examples of prejudice throughout all of human history directed at race, gender, age, and the list goes on.
I’m not gay, black, old, or anything else along those lines. Normally as a straight, white, male, I generally avoid most popular forms of thoughtless prejudice and hate. However, I am weird. As Star Trek Generations tells us, “Normal is what everybody else is, and you are not.”. And that’s pretty much true. Of course as a statement, it’s really saying that none of us are really what any of us consider to be normal. That said, most people come across as being much closer to that “normal” than others. I’m one of the others. There are many aspects of human behaviour that I just don’t get, and that as I get older, I have less tolerance for.
However, those of us who are weird, suffer in some very unique ways. For starters, it’s considered absolutely fine to be verbally abusive towards us. Feel free to point out that I’m weird. Feel free to point out how I don’t fit in with “normal” people. It’s ok to do that. Of course, you mustn’t tell your gay friends that they don’t fit in with your straight friends, and it’d be a taxi for one, should you decide that your black friends don’t have much in common with your white friends. But we who aren’t like the rest of you for reasons other than sexuality or race, deserve everything we get, because we aren’t like you and it should be pointed out. Maybe it boils down to choice. After all, it isn’t the fault of a hispanic person that they’re hispanic. They were born that way. The same goes for homosexuality. But us weirdos, that’s our choice, and as a result, should be ridiculed.
I can take all that. Once, a gay friend of mine, questioned the brain power of people who shout “GAY!” at him. After all, it’s what he is. Is he supposed to be offended by them pointing it out? I can see what he was getting at, so I’ll join his attitude and let it wash over me. I’ve been called weird since I was at school. Girls, are by far the quickest to point it out, and far more vicious about it when they do. Boys tended to just dismiss me as weird and move on. I couldn’t claim to be bullied at school because of my weirdness, but I also couldn’t claim that it went unnoticed. I clearly remember that it’s the little things people said that hurt the most. “Don’t talk to him, he’s weird”. “Don’t invite him, he’s weird”. “Did you hear about the weird things Richard said”. It’s what I mostly remember from my school days, mostly secondary school. It goes away a bit when you’re at university, as weird people are a lot more common. But it comes back with a passion when you leave and enter the real world. In the real world, you’ll be ridiculed for not liking X-Factor or Big Brother. In the real world, you’re supposed to like football. In the real world, you are expected to be like everybody else, and if you aren’t, then you’re weird.
What hurts the most, is when you get tarred with the weird brush.
When that happens, you lose your ability to be thought well of. Everybody just expects you to be weird, and in most cases, they expect you to be far worse than you actually are. Given that in general, people don’t care to really understand what your problem is, they don’t have the ability to predict how your problems will effect you in different situations. There’s no real pattern to your behaviour, so people work on the basis that you’re always going to be weird. This has a couple of negative effects on a weird person’s behaviour. First of all, it encourages it. If you think I’m going to do something weird, then I’ll go out of my way to not disappoint you. This may involve giving extremely sarcastic answers to the questions you ask. It might mean that the weird person you’re dealing with, just won’t be interested in you or what you have to say, because they don’t feel they have to act in a certain way, just because social norms dictate as much. For example, if you offer me a drink and I don’t want one, I’ll turn down your offer. I’m told that if you’re offered a drink, you should just accept it, even though you don’t want it. I’m working out from that, that you should then force yourself to actually drink the drink that you don’t want, as taking it, and then not drinking it, will cause a “norm” to take more offence at your weirdness. So if you’re lumbered with a weird person in your life, be aware that if you feel you have the right to control their behaviour, then the best way to do that is to not give them the opportunity to be weird. Most weird people don’t want to be so, and spend their nights trolling the internet, because they can’t sleep due to worrying about just how weird they are.
The other problem with the weird brush, is that you take away our ability to improve ourselves. Like I said before, we’re weird and we know we are. We’re constantly trying to change how we are because we feel pressure to fit in with how you think we should be. That comes from all the abuse that you give us. But every time we manage to improve on how we do something, you happily and publicly express your surprise. You can’t wait to point out how well we’ve done. Sorry, I forgot to feel that patronising us is as acceptable as all other forms of abuse. “Haven’t you done well, managing not to be all weird like you usually are, you crazy little weird person”. I’ve noticed that people tend to get worse with us the first time they expose us to new people. In particular, people you see regularly without your weird friend, maybe like people you work with. Most of all this results in you trying to speak for us, so that we don’t do anything to embarrass ourselves, or you. How this manifests itself depends on the kind of job you have. Perhaps you work in a place that sells food, and you don’t let your weirdo order his own food because he’s just going to say something strange to show you up. Can you imagine how that makes your weirdo feel? Any time you don’t let them speak for themselves, it makes them feel like you’re covering up for them or making sure you limit the damage they cause. Suffice it to say, there are many ways you can keep a weird person down, and the chances are you’re doing most of them.
If you know somebody who is weird, then please remember what I’m trying to tell you about them. They know they are weird and they no more appreciate you pointing it out than your gay friends like being called faggot. If they do something weird then you must really try not to get frustrated or angry with them. The chances are that they know what they’ve done as soon as they’ve done it. Years of practice has helped them to identify the earth shattering silences that follow their appearance in a room, or most things that they say. Remember that it was hard enough for them to enter that room in the first place, because they know what people are thinking about them before they get there. They’ve had a life time of being stared at by Norms. It started at an early age when other children didn’t want to play or share their toys with them. It advanced as they aged and eventually made it so that they wouldn’t enter their sixth form common room for fear of the comments they’d hear when they did so. As adults, they are completely jaded by they world. They know how it feels about them, so they have little tolerance for it in return. Weird people aren’t born that way, but they are made that way against their will. It just takes one person to class them as weird, and it carries on for their entire life. We are a perfect storm of personality disorders, depression, and it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that we’re actually somewhere on the functioning end of the autistic spectrum. We’ve spent a lifetime being looked down on because we aren’t like the rest of you. Should you really be surprised that this creates ill adjusted adults? Weirdness creates more weirdness.
September 29th 2013
Articles like this:
Make me think of this:
September 28th 2013
Facebook has introduced trending topics. Thanks to that, I got to see that the people who murdered Lee Rigby are on trial, and have pleaded not guilty. I also got to see that the BNP think that the death penalty should be reintroduced. That’s not much of a surprise. Sadly, neither are the comments that go with their post. Here are a few of my favourites.
I agree. This country has too many people who are trying to do good. What we need is some proper bastards walking around.
If there’s one thing christians love, it’s a good crucifixion. They’re always banging on about it.
But that’s how our court system works. You plead not guilty, and then a judge decides if he believes you or not. We found that presenting evidence to a jury is just too much hassle, especially in high profile murder cases.
Sorry Garry, I don’t agree. I’m on the side of bringing back the death penalty for random people. Not just those who have actually committed a crime. Garry must be a left wing softie.
I can just imagine Seal Team Six standing over Bin Laden’s dead body, scratching their heads, wondering what to do with it. Should they take him to America? Should they leave the body where it is? Nah, just dump it in the ocean on the way home. That’s probably what they did.
Ah yes, the long forgotten human right. There’s the right to food, clean water, health care, shelter, education, and the right to murder people who break the law. Where are Amnesty International on this?
It’s a shame that Stacey can’t share more of her opinions, what with her being so busy curing cancer.
I’ve had that dream. Throw in Kelly Brook and I’ll volunteer to test this one out.
Not getting what you want should be the penalty for bad spelling.
Well Mike, they killed the guy by running him over with a car, so I’m thinking they could take you, even if you are a commando. I’m not sure where bacon is.
These wise words give us all a lot to think about. A great many of them mention pigs and bacon. Clearly that’s what happens when you start making bold political statements around breakfast time.